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We both laughed at a slightly inappropriate joke, the only ones in the room to do so. At first, I wasn’t sure I wanted to get close with her.

But her room was only a few doors down from mine, and most nights after work I could expect to hear a soft knock on my door.

It had sold out all 30 seats; clearly I wasn’t the only one on the hunt for new friends.

In romantic dating, there’s an easy way to gauge whether you want to get to know someone, and it usually boils down to answering a single question: “Do I want to see this person naked?

When I moved back more than two years after we first met, she was the one to pick me up from the airport, to welcome me back, welcome me home. We lived on completely opposite sides of the city, to the point that overnight bags were sometimes required to see each other on the weekend.

All we had was the experience and the understanding that it was all worth it, to manufacture our own opportunities for closeness, even if it didn’t come easily.

When I told her where I work, she responded with the classic, “We should talk.” Another — showcasing how small the city actually is — turned out to be someone I knew; she had once answered a Craigslist ad I posted looking for a roommate.

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Second, my own best friend, whose existence in my life is inextricably linked to my time in DC, is leaving town. Priorities shift, and suddenly friendship starts to seem like a luxury, maybe even a waste of time that is now in ever shorter supply.After that, a bell would ring, and the women sitting on the inside would rotate to their right, while those on the outside stayed still. I may not have had a desire to see anyone naked, but I did discover that, much like dating, friendship is predicated on chemistry, something I did not feel with the majority of women rotating my way.One woman, in true DC fashion, treated our exchange like a networking opportunity.When the time came, we both agonized over whether we should move back to DC and leave our hometowns behind permanently — the biggest risk either of us had ever taken.She went first, taking a job on the Hill, while I applied for graduate school. This time, we had no physical hallways to connect us, no natural proximity to tie us together.




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